Have you ever gone to start a lawn mower that's low on gas? You keep pulling the rip cord hoping the motor would start, but nothing happened? That's what exercise was like for me. I would pull that cord, get it running and then it would shut off on me after the 2nd or 3rd day.
I would promise myself that I would start over. Sunday was my promise day. I figured the day contained some deeply spiritual element that could not be found in the other six. I would promise myself that come this Sunday, I was going to get back on track and start exercising. I envisioned myself putting on my sneakers, driving out to the park, walking about three miles and feeling good about myself. I would commit to doing this for as long as it took, but I would not start until Sunday. Oh, you should have heard the promises I was making to myself. I had my routines all figured out. I would go downtown on Saturday to the Farmer's Market, right, and buy my fruit and fresh vegetables. Then I would cook for the week so that I could be ahead of the game and not have to guess what I was going to eat. I had made mental menus filled with mental entrees--I was already sampling those mental snacks and even sneaking a taste of those mental deserts. Albeit all in my mind, it felt real, so it was real to me. Besides, I had until Sunday to get it all together anyway! I was feeding myself these suggestions and promised I would get them done on Sunday. As soon as Sunday came, it would be on! (cue the music) However, Sunday did come, but I didn't seem to join it. No big deal though. You see one thing about Sunday is that if I missed it, all I had to do is wait six more days and there would be another one. Great! I'll start then! So now with the extra time I have, I can do even more planning! I can really get a routine together that would lay all other exercise routines to rest. This time would be it! No more back pain, no more stopping my breathing when I went to sleep at night, no more pains shooting across my chest, no more tight clothes, no more wiping my sweat off while I'm in the middle of the store wondering why they can't turn the air down and no more heavy breathing in the check out aisle. Oh yeah, all of these things and more would be mine.......starting on Sunday! Man oh man! I could just see myself in a few months once I get back to the size I wanted to be. People would stop staring, my friends and family would take me seriously, my co-workers would respect me, my boss would finally see the potential in me that I had seen all my life, all those women who told me no would mourn the day they turned me down, I could shop for clothes at the mall like regular people, I could actually fit into a booth at a restaurant--and I had to do was get started......on Sunday! Count me in. I can start on Sunday! Sure enough, Sunday kept on coming but it didn't seem to have enough room for me to fit all the plans I had made into it. Time to rethink this. Maybe I was over doing things? Maybe my expectations were too high? Maybe I had dug the hole to deep. It would be easier if I just kept my thought at things that were easy to accomplish, so what I'll do is go back and rework my plan this week and (you guessed it!) I'll just get started on Sunday!IT WILL NEVER BE THE RIGHT TIME TO START !!!!Sometimes you just have to knuckle up and fight. I kept lying to myself week after week, day after day, hour after hour and moment after moment, that as soon as I got past this one last thing, I'd start doing better on Sunday. I'll have that last piece of cheesecake or that last Shrimp and Pasta dish, I would get that last 4-piece meal from the colonel (original recipe with mashed potatoes, coleslaw and strawberry parfait super sized with a large root beer please!), oh yeah, since I was going to start exercising, I can grab that big old lemon berry slush I like to drink ever so often, and I can't forget about that Mama's Pancake Breakfast with an extra egg, scrambled, add American Cheese with a double order of hash brown casserole, extra butter, extra maple syrup an ketchup. Oh yeah, I'll stop by that small gas station since it's the only place in town that sells the chocolate covered cashews I love to eat when I'm laying in bed watching television. It's okay to eat that stuff this week because you know.....I'm going to start exercising on Sunday! How long have you been waiting for the right time or the right moment or the right set of things to happen before you get started on that thing that you KNOW you are supposed to do? I can tell you from experience that the time you are waiting for to get things started will probably never come. Think of it this way. When we pray and ask God for guidance AND he is merciful enough to give it to us....how often do we turn back to him as say, "are you sure?" "Hold on God, let me get this straight," "if I take one step in the right direction with an open and honest heart you'll be there to guide me?" "Come on God, you can't be serious!" Learn to rid yourself of that doubt. It has never and will never serve you. That doubt only makes you a slave to it! Then you fall in to a vicious cycle where the Almighty gives you a vision and instead of acting on it, you wait around for doubt to give you the final say on things...if that doubt doesn't always live in you, it will seek out someone close to you who will know exactly how to kill your dreams. You know how they do. That all to familiar look of disapproval, or the popular head shake combined with the light chuckle! Yeah, they know exactly how to kill your spirit. They should, because you taught them! Learn how to trust your instincts. YOU WERE PROGRAMMED FOR GREATNESS. However, somewhere along the way, that message go lost. For some it was shortly after conception. For others, you learned during your childhood. Why wait for the negative to come around and tell you what you are not. You are a descendant of the most high. Yet we choose to have our lives guided by the greatest lie ever told. This life my friends if for the living. Come join us! Dreams mean work,Lou Riley
http://www.lourileylive.com
OMG!!!!! I know what you mean I start then stop. This has been the story of my life for the past 7 years. Prior to that I really didn't care. Because at that time if I did not go over a certain size I didn't care but now. I hate the way I look but I can't get my mind right to change it. I can't even get my mind right to blog. I have three beautiful children that I keep saying I am going to do it for them but I have to realize that it can't be done just for them it has to done for me. I have to want to do it everyday and stick to it. Also I have to remember that when I mess up I have to pick myself up and dust off. Thank you for your posting it was very inspiring. Have a bless journey!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAll the best,
Yolanda